Categories
Life Other

These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Look, my liege! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

  • The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
  • Shut up! Will you shut up?!
  • Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn’t vote for you. It’s only a model. I have to push the pram a lot.

Blue. No, yel…

Where’d you get the coconuts? And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. What a strange person. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. You don’t vote for kings.

  1. Who’s that then?
  2. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
  3. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
  4. Be quiet!
  5. We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.
First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Well, I didn’t vote for you. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Who’s that then? I’m not a witch. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.

Categories
Videos

These Pixelated Portraits Are Created Using Something Unexpected, But Genius.

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

D’oh. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.

  • Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  • When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

Natural Born Kissers

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Save me, Jeebus. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

The Last Temptation of Homer

I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

  1. Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
  2. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
  3. I was saying “Boo-urns.”
  4. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
Marge vs. Monorail

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Human contact: the final frontier. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

Homer the Great

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Homer no function beer well without. Me fail English? That’s unpossible.

Categories
funny Videos

These Beauty Ingredients From The Past Could Actually Kill You. This Was Okay?

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Tell them I hate them. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock.

The Honking

Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. Actually, that’s still true. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Meh. Yeah, lots of people did.

  • Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
  • Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
  • WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
  • Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

A Big Piece of Garbage

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

The Why of Fry

I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want!

  1. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
  2. I can explain. It’s very valuable.
  3. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”!
  4. Oh God, what have I done?
Parasites Lost

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

Anthology of Interest II

With gusto. Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.

Categories
funny Other

Listen To “The Piano Guys” Take You Through 50 Years Of Batman

What?! The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I’m trying not to, kid.

Jedi Academy

Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. What!? As you wish. Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you’re going.

  • I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–
  • Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you.
  • I’m trying not to, kid.
  • He is here.
  • Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you.

The Empire Strikes Back

As you wish. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. He is here.

Jedi Academy

Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Don’t underestimate the Force. Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide.

  1. Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine.
  2. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide.
  3. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct.
The Phantom Menace

I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. Don’t underestimate the Force. Don’t underestimate the Force.

Attack of the Clones

Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. As you wish. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him.

Categories
Life Stories

21 Important Life Lessons You Can Learn From Sheeps! We mean it!

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  • Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa.
  • Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.

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  1. Cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia.
  2. Accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo.
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Quis Nostrum

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Categories
Life

This Photographer And Her Bunny Have Epic Photo Shoots. It’s Just Too Cute.

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

Mr. F

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Marry me.

  • I’ve opened a door here that I regret.
  • That’s why you always leave a note!
  • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
  • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

Pier Pressure

I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Steve Holt! First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

Afternoon delight

Across from where? What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

  1. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.
  2. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
  3. Across from where?
Exit Strategy

I’m a monster. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Michael! No… but I’d like to be asked! I care deeply for nature.

Good Grief!

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Michael! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.